Keep Your Friends Close And Your Fears Closer
by Hender
Summary: Squall fears for his friends and starts to see Selphie in a different way (may contain references to nudity or sex in later chapters)
1. Default Chapter

Authors Note: I don't own any of the characters or anything to do with Final Fantasy although I wish I did (lol) the only thing I own is this story. This is my first fan fic attempt so be kind.  
  
Squall sat in his dorm room thinking about how his life had changed. Only a few weeks ago he had been happy he had been content, he was still grumpy but at least he didn't feel so bad on the inside. But now, he found himself exposed to new pressures and new fears. The girl he felt he loved was in a coma in the infirmary. She had been so full of life so dedicated to her beliefs, but now..looks at her. She may never wake up again because of his lack of responsibility, he may never hear her talk or feel her touch again. Thoughts were spinning around in his head, he felt angry with himself but most of all he felt lonely and scared. He got himself dressed into his casual attire and headed out of the dorm towards the infirmary.  
  
Balamb Garden was quite lively considering what the inhabitants had just gone through, the battle between Balamb and Galbadia Gardens had left many killed and just as many wounded. Although the people in the garden still kept their humour and smiles, they had all lost something because of the fighting, Some had lost friends, others had lost family but all of them had all lost that spark of innocence and would never find that again. They had stopped to bury the dead from both gardens at the scene of the battle.  
  
"They deserved better than the place where we buried them they were our friends they were the real heroes, they sacrificed their lives for us all and we repay them by burying them in a foul barren wasteland!" Squall told himself angrily.  
  
When he finally reached the infirmary he hesitated before opening the door, he knew it would kill him to see her but he felt so empty without her company. Walking into the infirmary he saw that there was a few people on crutches or in wheelchairs, he couldn't bring himself to look them in the eye,  
  
"I'm here to see her" He said quietly to the doctor who was sat behind her desk  
  
"Sure just go right in"  
  
She said,  
  
"Don't blame yourself. It could have been worse"  
  
She replied wearing a caring expression. Seeing his puzzled face she told him that she had been a doctor for more than 40 years and could easily tell how a person was feeling just by looking at their face.  
  
The cool breeze of the open window hit Squall as he walked into the private room and found a chair and sat down. He scooped up Rinoas hand and placed it in his own, her skin was pale and her hands were icily cold, he sat there and watched her lie there for a while. Then Squall felt something that he had never felt since he was a child, he felt a single tear roll down his cheek and fall to the floor.  
  
The door opened behind them and Squall heard quiet footsteps coming towards him, he then felt a hand lay to rest softly upon his shoulder.  
  
"You shouldn't blame yourself it wasn't your fault."  
  
He looked up to see a young woman wearing her SeeD attire.  
  
"So what if you think it wasn't! We all know in our hearts that it was because of me"  
  
Squall snarled.  
  
"Please Squall let it rest we hate to see you like this.."  
  
"Please Selphie, just go.."  
  
Squall said in a lesser tone of voice. He guessed she had listened to his request because she closed the door behind him and he heard foot steps walking away. Squall stayed with Rinoa until he fell asleep.  
  
Squall found himself in a dark dimly lit room, he was all alone. He tried to yell out but his voice jus echoed off the walls, the door to the room then opened and in strode Seifer wearing a smile.  
  
"Look at you your pathetic, I always knew you were pathetic but not like this" Seifer said trying hard not to laugh,  
  
"You're pitiful man".  
  
"Where are they Seifer! What have you done with my friends"  
  
"What friends? Oh them..We killed them or should I say you killed them" The room then started spinning and the walls dissolved along with Seifer, instead Squall found himself in the dark with no light and nobody by his side, then in the distance he heard Rinoa calling out for him.  
  
"Squall, where are you, help me" he heard her yell,  
  
"I'm here, I can't see anything" Squall yelled just as loudly. Squall then heard something that made his blood boil, he heard her scream  
  
"Stop it! Stop it!" She was in pain, someone was hurting her, but he couldn't find or help her, then her screaming stopped.  
  
"Rinoa..RINOA" He screamed out at the top of his voice, and with that he awoke, he was lying on the floor and he could feel a warm trickle of blood down the back of his neck. He lifted his head up to see Rinoa lying on the bed before blacking out.  
  
Squall could hear voices talking but he couldn't make out who they belonged to, his vision was also blank.  
  
"..I don't understand what could have caused this"  
  
"I don't know but he was screaming really loud.."  
  
"Hmmm..you don't think it could be anything to do with..her, do you?"  
  
"What are they talking about; they can't mean Rinoa can they?" Squall thought trying to piece together what he was hearing.  
  
"WHY CAN'T I MOVE? WHY WON'T THEY HELP ME!? Squall was using every ounce of his strength to try to move his body. Then, almost as if a weight had been lifted off his chest, as he sat bolt upright as his vision and senses retuned.  
  
He was lying on the floor; he lifted his head to see that he was still in the room with Rinoa. Surprised he looked around the room looking for the two people who had been talking; the room was empty all except for himself and Rinoa. His attention then turned to the back of his head which was hurting really bad. He withdrew his hand from the back of his head to see it covered in his own blood.  
  
"DOCTOR!!" Squall yelled at the top of his voice,  
  
"Oh my god!" The doctor exclaimed as she rushed into the room seeing the bloody floor. "What have you been doing?" She said sternly, "How many times do I have to tell people to be careful in the infirmary!"  
  
"I only..." Squall who was annoyed that he was being blamed for what had happened  
  
"I want no excuses from you Squall, you should know better" the doctor said,  
  
"Come on we'll patch you up" The doctor, who was clearly showing no efforts at calming down, said.  
  
Squall was lead into a room across the hall and, the doctor, began to place a bandage around his head.  
  
"Doctor...Who were the two people in the room whilst I was out cold?"  
  
"Why are you asking me that? I didn't even know that you were out cold so how do u expect to know who was in that room with you? But from what I remember there shouldn't of been anyone in there with you." The doctor replied annoyed but in someway curious. She finished patching Squall up and told him to go get some rest. Squall walked out of the infirmary and felt that he didn't feel much like resting, he felt more hungry than anything, so he got up and went up to the cafeteria.  
  
"Yo man, come over here and join us!" It was Zell and he was sitting at a table with Selphie, Irvine and Quistis. Squall walked over to the table and sat down in the only spare chair.  
  
"Squall you look pale.are you ok?" Quistis asked who was always in Squalls opinion trying to look out for his health. "Don't worry he'll be fine once I get him a few hotdogs" said Zell getting up from the table and making his way over to a tray of fresh hotdogs that had just been layed out. The four remaining people at the table were all quiet until Selphie piped up,  
  
"Squall what happened to your head!" when she saw the bandage on his head when he brushed back his hair. Squall didn't answer he was too busy thinking about what the voices had been saying and what he had heard whilst he was out cold.  
  
"Squall?" Selphie said pouting, a little annoyed that he wasn't paying any attention.  
  
"It's nothing, I'm fine" Squall replied not wanting to tell the other what he had experienced. Zell returned carrying a plate full of hotdogs,  
  
"Come on man tuck in! It's on me" Squall picked up a hotdog and took a bite out of it. He stared at it in his hand for a while before he placed it back down on the plate; he lifted himself out of his chair and walked out of the cafeteria.  
  
"Hey man where are going, you didn't finish your hotdog" Zell called after him  
  
"Just let him go Zell...Let him go..." Quistis said trying to verbally restrain Zell.  
  
Squall wandered round the garden for while before it got dark and he returned to his dorm room. He couldn't stop thinking about what the voices had said, where they talking about Rinoa? What had happened to him? He was scared that something was wrong with her and that she was never going to wake up. Then it hit him out of the blue, he was going to eventually have to risk his friends lives. Whether he liked it or not.. 


	2. The Second Scar

The Second Scar  
  
Squall hardly slept that night. His mind was drowning in its thoughts, the voices he'd heard, Rinoa's condition, and realisation that his actions could mean his friends lives. Before long Squall found himself walking to the training area, as he needed to take his mind off things.  
  
There wasn't a sound to be heard in the training area, that night. The place was usually filled with the cries of monsters, but tonight was different, there was nothing. Squall found the lack of noise uncomfortable. Something was wrong.  
  
Squall heard movement behind him and he swiftly turned round to see nobody there,  
  
"Hello?" Squall said confidently, not showing his feelings. No answer came.  
  
Squall drew his gun blade and started to slowly walk back toward the entrance, looking behind every few paces. The only problem was that, when he got to where the entrance should have been, it wasn't there.  
  
"Damn" Squall thought to himself, "The hells going on here?!"  
  
A split second later, Squall was sent flying into the air and landed hard on his back. Squall quickly picked himself up and looked around, his eyes darting from right to left looking for his attacker, gun blade at the ready. Then something landed a hit on the side of his face, "Come on then, you son of a bitch!!.....Show yourself!!" Squall yelled at the top of his voice and started flailing about blindly with his gun blade. A second consecutive blow sent him dazed to the ground panting wildly, and for a brief moment before he blacked out, he stared in shock as he thought he could see Rinoa standing over him.  
  
Squall found himself in the middle of a grassy meadow, the sun was giving off a comfortable heat and the wind lazily blew a soothing breeze over Squall's body. Squall looked over to the other side of the field, he could see somebody waving at him, but he couldn't make out whom. Squall set of at a gentle speed walking toward the person; he sped up as he recognised the female with long black hair and blue top.  
  
He eventually came virtually face to face with Rinoa; a gentle smile spread across her face, she took Squalls hand and placed in it and single red rose. Squall tried to speak but she placed her finger over his lips. A small tear slowly started to run down her face, Squall put his hand up to her face and used his thumb to wipe away her tear. Squalls vision started to become hazy, as he and Rinoa embraced each other in the quiet meadow..  
  
"I think he's starting to come round..go get the doctor Zell tell her he's coming round."  
  
"You think he's ok?"  
  
Squalls senses slowly started to come back to him; he felt warm, nice and comfortable and he felt a hand on his forehead brushing his hair out of the way. The touch of the persons hand was soothing to him; he felt all his worries drain out of him as well as the pain in his back. Next his vision slowly faded back; and Squall could see Irvine, Quistis and Selphie all kneeling down beside him, he was lying in a room in the infirmary. Squall then realised it was Selphie's hand that had been stroking his forehead, the hand that had been so comforting to him whilst he was in the dark.  
  
Squall tried to get up but his friends wouldn't let him, they pinned him down to the ground.  
  
"Let me up!" Squall declared to the three people who were currently holding him down.  
  
"Sorry, no can do Squall" Irvine said through clenched teeth as the three people struggled to hold Squall down.  
  
"You have to stay still, you're panicking!"  
  
Squall finally gave up struggling, depleted of his strength and relaxed on the bed.  
  
The doctor arrived, accompanied by Zell.  
  
"Here, get out of my way, let me look at him" She demanded pushing through the small congregation of people around Squalls bed,  
  
"Well his eyes seem to be focusing, he should be ok." The doctor informed Squalls friends. She now turned to Squall,  
  
"Can you say your name for me?" Squall got a strong feeling of déjà vu when she said this  
  
"Squall." He replied pretty much instantly.  
  
"Good" the doctor told him as she inspected the small cuts on his face,  
  
"I want to keep you in here for tonight, jus to make sure your ok." The doctor paused looking round at Squalls group of friends,  
  
"You're friends can stay for a few hours but after that I want you to get some sleep" The doctor turned and started making her way towards the door, then she stopped and turned to Zell,  
  
"You'll be ok won't you Zell?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine doctor..you're forgetting, I'm invincible" Zell said with a smile on his face.  
  
"Ah well anyway, as long as you don't let that thought get into your head..the cut was pretty bad, it'll leave a scar" The doctor then walked out of the room and closed the door behind her.  
  
Squall propped himself up in the hospital bed using the very fluffy pillows that had been provided. The group all sat in silence until Selphie blurted out,  
  
"You had us really, really scared, you know?" She looked on the verge of tears. Squall wasn't paying much attention though; he was trying to piece together what had happened to him. He finally gave up,  
  
"What happened?" Squall said in a curious tone. The others looked around at each other, nervously.  
  
"You mean, you don't remember?" Quistis said quietly looking at the ground  
  
"Well, I damn well remember" said Zell from the corner of the room.  
  
"Well you kind of owe your life to Zell here" Quistis said quietly, she then continued,  
  
"Well Zell had come out of his room at the same time you had last night, he couldn't sleep either. Anyway he said he was shouting after you but you couldn't hear him"  
  
"He should have done! I was inches away from him" Zell declared angrily  
  
"Calm down man" Irvine said walking over to Zell and tried to calm him down  
  
"Well anyway.You were just oblivious to everything around you, it was like you were in your own world.."Quistis paused, "Anyway, Zell followed you into the training area."  
  
"And then you started freaking out!" Zell interrupted, "You were waving your damn gun blade about all over the place, when I tried to stop you, and you took a swing at me!" Zell walked from out of the darkened corner to where Squall could see him better, Squall could see a cut on Zell's face identical to the one Squall had on his forehead. Squall was shocked; he just lay there not believing that he had attacked one of his friends  
  
The next few hours was spent in silence until the others decided it was time they went, they had been gone a few minutes when Selphie came back through the door. She walked up to Squall and held out her hand,  
  
"Oh, I forgot to give you this, when we brought you up to the infirmary you had this in you hand, does it mean anything to you?" She held out in her hand, a single red rose.  
  
"No.." Squall lied.  
  
Selphie then just without warning burst into tears.  
  
"You had me really, really scared. I was worried about you, Squall!"  
  
Squall didn't know what to do  
  
"Well.." He paused for thought, "You helped me a lot"  
  
Selphie sniffed, "how?"  
  
"erm, when you were stroking my forehead, I felt really relaxed, you helped me a lot." Was that the best he could do he thought to himself, comforting people never was his specialty.  
  
Selphie seemed to cheer up a little after Squall said this.  
  
"Tee Hee, thanks" she said blushing, said bye and left the room  
  
Squall was left alone, in the dark clutching the rose in his hand as he drifted off into a peaceful slumber 


	3. Authors notes sorry for lack of updates

Sorry for not posting chapter 3 and onward but I have not had much time and I'm going through a difficult time in my life please understand that I am trying my hardest to finish off chapter 3 


End file.
